Sunday, January 14, 2007

My brother is hilarious!

I just got this email from my little brother. It's hilarious. My lil bro is a funny dork, and this email epitomizes his warped humour. I hope you get a good chuckle out of it too...And if you've ever met my brother, or heard me speak of him- I'm sure you will. Some context of my lil' bro: baby of 3, the only boy, when he moved out of mom's house he decided moving down the block wouldn't suffifice so he drove his car across our big country and settled in Northern Alberta (Slave Lake to be exact). I am very proud of him and like I mentioned he's a funny, weird dork and I love him. And some context on the email below: He sent this to about 20 people- you'll get the jist of it in the first line.

*** His email:
Well everyone, It is a bitter sweet day for me as I deliver you this news. After 5 and a half wonderful years and 215,000 glorious kilometres, it was time to bid adieu to my faithful friend and mode of transportation, Fran the Focus. Some of you have been closer to Fran then others but I know that she has touched each and every one of you in some way. Whether she took you to a parade, brought you to a movie, got you to a party, took your stuff across country or just brought me to see you, Fran has been an important part of my life as well as yours. Fran started her joyful life with me on June 8th, 2001. It took only a day for us to fall in love and we have been happy together ever since. She has had a very happy 5 and a half years with me. We went through some illness together but no matter what the cost she made it. Towards the end we both knew it was time to separate. Last week Fran put in for a transfer to a warmer, less snow covered part of the country. I have assured her that her next owner will treat her well and will hopefully be a little more south. Yes, it is true, on Wednesday January 10th, 2007 ownership of Fran the Focus was transferred to Whitecap Motors in Slave Lake Alberta. Not wanting to seem cold hearted, I would like to take this opportunity to introduce each and every one of you to Julia. Julia is a 2005 Jeep TJ. I am happy to say that Julia enjoys snow and ice much more then Fran and it shows. I feel much better behind the wheel of Julia as I traverse this frozen tundra known as Northern Alberta. As much as Julia enjoys the winter, she has told me that she is looking forward to the summer months as she hopes to go topless. I must say, Julia is much more daring then Fran. Julia is also looking forward to play in the mud, another pleasure not shared with Fran. In short, Julia and I are looking forward to many knew and exciting adventures but I must reiterate that Fran the focus will always hold a special place in my heart along with my Plymouth Horizon affectionately known as Suzie. Please find enclosed pictures of my dear friend, side kick and dare I say kindred spirit, Fran the Focus. As well as successor Julia. Please note the seat covers came with Julia. I feel it is still early in the relationship to criticize her fashion and the issue will be dealt with at an appropriate time.

Your Friend/Son/Brother/Idol Matthew







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